An austere and beautiful knot of pain

My copy of Ian Hamilton's 'Fifty Poems' was published in 1988. The pages are yellowing. It is at least ten years since I opened it. As I flick through the pages, certain phrases have retained their power to cut me to the quick.

In a review of the book, Michael Hoffmann wrote that ''...each individual poem is pruned back to an austere and beautiful knot of pain."

Hamilton's book was one of the first to teach me about poetry - that the power of a poem increases on repeated readings, and that after a while they imbed themselves inside you and you can't get them out even if you want to. These poems are my old friends.

I'm so pleased to be able to replace my old copy with this hardback, which also contains some previously unpublished poems. Hee are two to help you decide if you'd like to make acquaintance with them.

*

Rose

In the delicately shrouded heart
Of this white rose, a patient eye,
The eye of love,
Knows who I am, and where I've been
Tonight, and what I wish I'd done.

I have been watching this white rose
For hours, imagining
Each tremor of each petal to be like a breath
That silences and soothes.
'Look at it', I'd say to you
If you were here: 'it is a sign
Of what is brief, and lonely
And in love.'

But you have gone and so I'll call it wise:
A patient breath, an eye, a rose
That opens up too easily, and dies.


*

Awakening
Your head, so sick, is leaning against mine,
So sensible. You can't remember
Why you're here, nor do you recognize
These helping hands.
My love,
The world encircles us. We're losing ground.

*

(both poems reprinted with permission and gratitude - (c) The Estate of Ian Hamilton)

Five minute Chocolate Mug Cake

After mentioning this five minute chocolate cake a few posts ago I was asked for the recipe.

It might not be the most attractive cake in the world, but it tastes pretty damn good...

Thanks to BBC Radio 2 for the recipe (here).

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

Here are the ingredients you'll need. The utensils you'll need are - scales or measuring spoons, a large coffee mug and a microwave!

Ingredients
4 tbs / 45 gms self raising flour
4 tbs / 55gms caster sugar
2 tbs / 17gms cocoa powder
1 egg
3 tbs / 43 mls milk
3 tbs / 25 mls sunflower oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small dash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug
Double cream or creme fraiche - optional for serving

Method
Add dry ingredients to the mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Add the milk and oil - mix well (don't forget the corners / edges of the mug).
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes (in a 1000 watt microwave). The cake will rise above the top of the mug, but don't worry it’s supposed to!Allow to cool a little, tip out onto a plate.
EAT and enjoy - this can serve two - it’s a huge portion for one!
Serve with fresh double cream, crème fraiche or custard. You can have the mix ready when you sit down to eat dinner and then pop them in the microwave so it is ready when you finish.

How to slow down, and win a free hardback of The Blue Handbag

Yesterday I sent out an article on slowing down to my mailing list. (If you'd like to sign up, scroll down a bit to 'sign up' on the right hand side and put your email in the box).

Yesterday was not a slow day. I started work before 7am. I finished after 11pm. I booked too much into my day.

I was driving to my next appointment (a little rushed) when the woman in the clouds sent me a sign. It was literally a sign. It flashed up as I drove towards it. It said 'Slow Down'.

After writing this, I'm going to read my own article, which you can read here. As I've said before, I like to approach slowing down as a practice - I wish there was a switch in my head and I could flick it onto 'slow' and that would be the end of it, but life's not like that. Not mine, anyway.

I'm also running a competition to win one of three free signed hardbacks of my next novel The Blue Handbag, which is out in hardback on Monday. All you need to do is send me an email (fiona@fionarobyn.com) with 'handbag' as the title.

Enjoy being a snail today.

My Top Ten Books (what are yours?)

My top ten books are currently over at The Book Depository blog - have a look at them here.

The Book Depository is a fine place to buy your books, and they have all sorts of interesting things going on.

Go on then, what are your top ten? (or top three if you have work to be getting on with...)

Turquoise Moments - a new blog

My friend Kate has just started a blog called Turquoise Moments.

Kate is a writer and a coach, and this is what she says about her blog:

Turquoise Moments is a blog devoted to finding creative space in a busy and complex world. The inspiration comes from the sense of peace and freedom of connecting to a stunning beach landscape with turquoise sea water and bleached white sand. I’ll be sharing thoughts from the ‘time out’ times whether that’s pottering in the garden, taking holidays or finding the spaces between the work.

She's brand new to the world of blogging - do pop over and say hello.

I've had my own turquoise moment this afternoon sitting in my friend's garden and soaking up the sun. She made us 'five minute chocolate cake' (involves a mug and the microwave) and we drank tea and watched her husband doing all the gardening and her daughter making a daisy chain. Lovely.

A handful of stones and a parnsip seed fact

Is it me or do these parnsips look a little bit rude?

Here's a useful fact for you, folks. Parsnip seeds keep very badly, and last year's packet of seeds are unlikely to germinate. I read this in a magazine last week and it explained all my little pots in the porch with no seedlings in them. I'm off to the garden centre later to buy some more.

I also need to go down to the bottom of the garden and clear all the grass clippings from my Buddha. He looks like he's been in a grass storm, if there were such a thing.

I also thought I'd remind you today of my a handful of stones blog, where I publish a daily snippet of something or other. There's information about writing small stones here if you might be interested, and I'd love you to join my Facebook group (I send a weekly small stone) or just come to Facebook and say hello.

Noone has bought The Letters on Amazon for a few days now - does this mean my sales are over???

Have lovely weekends.

How to write poems in France in June

Here is a photo of my friend Esther looking very serious and beautiful.

As well as being my friend she also happens to be a very fine poet, and a very astute, warm and encouraging teacher.

She's tutor on a poetry course in France from 20th - 27th of June - here are the details:

“Seeing Things – a Poetry Course”
20-27 June 2009 £535

This full-board, residential course is for anyone who wants to explore their creativity and develop their own voice in poetry. It offers you the chance to slow down, take notice and refresh your way of looking at the world. Taking its title from Seamus Heaney's 1991 collection, we'll begin by paying closer attention to what's in front of our eyes, before moving on to explore the unseen - the instincts and feelings which underpin experience. The aim is to help each writer see things for themselves, and so develop their own unique vision. The course will include a mixture of group writing workshops, close reading of poems, private writing time and one to one tutorials, as well as the chance to share creative work in a supportive atmosphere. All levels of experience are welcome.

Tutor
Esther Morgan is the author of two poetry collections published by Bloodaxe and has been teaching poetry for over ten years. She is a regular tutor for the Arvon Foundation.

Place
Gardoussel Retreat is a magical oasis of calm in one of the most beautiful and untouched parts of France. Set in 45 acres in the lush Cévennes mountains of the Languedoc region, it is a place of stunning simplicity and incredible natural beauty, 1.5 hours from Nimes and 2 hours from Montpellier.

Home-made vegetarian meals plus various therapies on offer: Swedish and Ayurvedic massage, craniosacral therapy, Ayurvedic consultations, yoga classes.

For more information and to book visit: http://www.gardoussel.com

Looks wonderful, doesn't it? If you know anyone who might be interested, do feel free to pass this on. I wish I could go. Here's one of her lovely poems.

*

Imperative

This morning don’t go down to the kitchen
in bare feet. Put on your gardening gloves,
fetch the dustpan and brush from the cellar
and sweep these pieces up quickly but carefully,
making sure you get every last sliver
from the darkest corners of the room
(later they may be held against you).
Wrap the fragments in newspaper
so no one cuts themselves.
Put back the dustpan and brush, the gloves’
upturned, amputated hands.
Make yourself a large mug of tea
with six sugars and a nip of whisky.
Stop shaking – he’ll be down soon –
you can hear his alarm going off,
heavy footsteps above your head, thudding down stairs.
Stop shaking I said. Swallow this note.

Why you should eat Broken Sleep by Sally Read

I'm difficult to please in restaurants. Most meals are perfectly adequate, but only very rarely do I think 'wow'. My other half cooks beautifully, and so over the years my standards have been driven ever higher.

When I am served a well cooked meal, I fall in love with it. I fall in love with the restaurant. I tell all my friends.

The same is true of my reading habits. Many of the books I read are perfectly adequate. Maybe 5% of these books really ZING. I try and read them more slowly, to savour every word. They feed me. Afterwards I feel completely satisfied, nourished, and I want to go out and tell the world to eat them (I mean read them) too.

Sally Read's new collection of poetry, Broken Sleep, was one of these meals this week. I liked her previous collection The Point of Splitting very much - as a reviewer on Amazon said, it's 'not for the fainthearted'. Don't give it to your granny for Christmas, is all I'm saying.

I won't speak much about the poems, as I think poems prefer to speak for themselves. The first half follow a woman from pregnancy through birth to mother-of-a-toddlerhood, and the second half is a collection of changes and losses which are, as the book blurb says, 'countered by extraordinary kinds of redemption.'

With the permission of the author, here's a little taste. If you'd like to order the book (I think the food metaphor has run its course now) you can get it from Amazon UK, or read more about it on the publisher's site, the very wonderful Bloodaxe Books. Thanks Sally.

*

Toddler

Tonight you're asleep before I can
get your nightie on, your head on my arm,
your half-nude body draped across
my lap. Your thighs are bloomers,
luxurious segments tapering
to round, capable calves, and hanging,
unshod feet, and so still,
                                         but hissing
life in their very heat and weight,
that I think of a new-shot pheasant
in the gentle mouths of dogs -
the autumnal, plump silkiness
of throat and chest feathers; the busy
brush and fretwork of red, petrol,
brown, that seems liquid, on
the brink of running. The collapsible
machinery of flight held heavy
in the eye.

Sally Read

Primroses and garlic mushrooms on toast

All morning I have been sitting in a sunny spot around the back of the house, with wild pale yellow primroses and a snoozing Silver to keep me company.

I've been making notes on my friend Esther's manuscript for her new collection of poetry, which is a wondrous thing - full of light and grace.

I just came in to fry up some chunky brown mushrooms in butter, garlic and fresh thyme from the window-sill. I tumbled them onto coriander rye bread, and ate them all up. Yum.

Lucky me. Lucky me. Lucky me.

How Michael Kimball Made Me Cry (The Blog Tour)

This is Michael Kimball. He made me cry.

He didn't step on my toes - that would have been tricky because we've never met. He didn't say my books were rubbish (not yet anyway, but he is going to be one of my First Ten Readers). He made me cry by creating a character called Jonathon, and making me care about him as if he were a member of my own family.

I'm really honoured to be hosting Michael as a part of his blog tour. Rather than the usual Q and A we had a conversation over email - here it is.

Me: There are two things I find necessary if I'm going to really enjoy a novel - that it is well written, and that the characters feel authentic and believable. Dear Everybody meets both conditions admirably. I'm interested in how the protagonist, Jonathon, came into being. Can you remember when he first appeared? How did you get to know him over time?

Michael: Dear Everybody started with one short letter, a man apologizing to a woman for standing her up on a date; the man is wondering if they had gone out that night, if maybe his whole life would have been different, better. At first, I didn’t know then who was speaking or that it was a suicide letter, but I did have a strong voice and a skewed way of thinking.

That one letter led to a rush of about 100 letters—Jonathon, the main character, apologizing to nearly everybody he has ever known—and it was through writing those letters that I came to know Jonathon, the details of his life, what had happened to him, and how that made him the person he was.

Me: I love that image - as if the first letter was some kind of kernel, and the subsequent letters started layering around it to give Jonathon's character breadth and depth. Jonathon isn't the easiest person to like or to feel sympathetic towards, but I found myself really caring about what happened to him. How do you feel about him as a character? Were you ever worried about readers losing patience with him or misunderstanding him?

Michael: Jonathon goes through a lot of difficult things—with his father, with bullies, trying to cope with mental illness—and that made me care about him too. I had some small worries that he might be misunderstood, that certain readers might not understand how difficult mental illness can be, but that was also part of the reason that there are so many other voices in the novel—his mother, his father, his brother, his wife—and so many different elements—the newspaper articles, the psychological evaluations, the yearbook quotes. Those other elements and other voices tell the reader things that Jonathon can’t and I hope that that put the reader closer to Jonathon, what he was feeling and thinking and going through.

Me: I think they do - and I also like the way it turns the whole book into a kind of mystery - we find out gradually that certain characters might not be telling us the whole truth...

I'm very interested in your 'Michael Kimball Writes Your Life Story (on a postcard)' project, which started when your friend asked if you wanted to participate in an art festival he was curating. You offered to write people's life stories on postcards, and by the time you'd finished the first a long queue had formed. I just read a few on your site and I had to tear myself away, as I think I could sit here for the rest of the day and hear about people's lives. They remind me of case studies in books about therapy - always the most interesting, juicy parts. Do you still get emails from people wanting you to perform this 'service' for them? Do you have any plans for a book? How does writing the mini-histories affect you?

Michael: The limited space of the postcard forces me to leave out everything except the most interesting and most important things about a person’s life. It has been a fascinating project and I still do get lots of requests, though I have had to tell people, for now, that I can just put their name on a list. I’m doing my best to work through a pretty big backlog of requests, which was created in part by the Guardian profile of the project and in part when Keyhole magazine, a literary magazine, asked me to write postcard life stories (instead of contributor bios) for every writer in their latest issue.

Writing the postcard life stories has been a moving, surprising, intimate, difficult, and fascinating experience—especially so when I’m writing one for somebody who has lived through a difficult life (and there are quite a few of these in the project). The one thing that I have learned so far, though, is that everybody, in one way or another, is amazing. Eventually, I hope to collect them into a book. I’ve had a couple of inquiries about it, but haven’t gotten around to writing an introduction to it yet.

Me: Oh I am glad there will be a book at some point. I think the project says something interesting about our potential power as writers - you literally become (the) author of those people's life stories. I don't know about you but because of that I see it as my responsibility to be as truthful as I can.

So - talking of being an author, shall we finish with your three favourite things and your three least favourite things about being an author?

Michael: I do feel a great sense of responsibility with the project. I do my best to get everything right and to honor the details of each person’s life.

As to favorite things, that question is a lot more difficult than it seems on the surface. My three favorite things about being an author are writing, revising, and publishing the book exactly as I want it to be. My three least favorite things are the waiting that is an inevitable part of the industry, finding a publisher, and that odd period between books when I’m not writing.

*

I hope you'll visit Michael's site and have a look at the book trailer and all the wonderful things people have said about his novel, but you'd be even more sensible if you went straight to Amazon UK (or Amazon US) and added it to your basket.

On being a girl and wielding a saw

For two whole years, I have been looking at a hideous bush in the middle of my flower patch and wishing it gone.

It is one of those ugly spiky bushes that probably floated in on the wind from a nearby hedge years ago and took root. It blocks out the light, and it has nasty thorns.

Many a time I've thought 'must get my other half to help me get rid of it'. I'm a girl - I wouldn't know how to do such a thing.

Yesterday I mentioned in to my other half, and he fetched me a saw. After watching him I had a little go. The bush was gone in half an hour. So was the three-quarters-dead bottle-brush bush behind it. Sawing was GREAT fun.

The light streams in through the gap now. I have loads of space to put new plants and flowers - a visit to the garden centre is in order. I wish I hadn't spent so long believing myself. I didn't know what I was talking about.

PS I've written a wee piece on being a writer and promoting yourself at the Preston Writing Network here for Jenn (who wrote A Kind of Intimacy which is marvellous and slightly scary).

PPS If you like this kind of post (with questions thrown in) you might want to check out my book Year of Questions: How to slow down and fall in love with life - more info here, or buy it from Amazon UK or Amazon US.

A photo of me signing books

For people who said they wanted to see one! This is very skilfully taken by Darron who is a professional photographer and who's details I will put up as soon as I get 'em.

Don't look too closely at my necklace - I bought it especially for the occasion and then proceeded to wear it back to front. Nobody noticed until afterwards, or if they did they were too polite to say.

The rain is giving my flower bed and my veg patch a good old soak today. I'm meeting my editor for the first time on Sunday - she's over from America (I know, sounds very LA...) I'm looking forward to comparing veg patch notes with her. I hope you have wonderful weekends whatever you do.

Have you been rejected 118 times yet? If not keep trying...

Michael Kimball is visiting Planting Words next Tuesday, but I've just been reading his interview at Dogmatika and this fragment jumped out at me:

From an Email between Susan Tomaselli and Michael Kimball
ST: I was astonished to read that your first novel was rejected something like 119 times; was there ever a point where you considered giving up?
MK: Back then, I never considered giving up. I had a lot of confidence in what I had done, but looking back I don’t really know how I did that, how I kept sending that manuscript out. I don’t know if I could do that now. It might be too much.

My first novel only got rejected by 19 publishers - Mr. Kimball beat me by a mile. Although I have had a fair bit of rejection over the years, like most (all?) writers. It's given me great practice at holding onto a kind of faith in myself and my work that doesn't depend on the external world.

Although if I'd said that to myself a year ago, after many years of looking for a publisher in vain, I would have told myself to shut up and stop being so bloody positive. Rejection hurts, and we need to pause and lick our wounds before we can send ourselves out into the world again.

I'm sending some faith-in-yourself out to anyone who needs some right now. Or you can save it for when you do.

PS that's another picture of my soon-to-be-car, Rosie - just wanted to show her off again.

Hurray for ethical companies

I've probably told you about Pure Nuff Stuff before, but they sent me another free gift with my latest order to thank me for my ongoing custom, and I feel compelled to tell you again how wonderful they are.

If you like your skin creams to be very expensive and to promise you the world and to be full of fancy scientific sounding ingredients then they're probably not for you.

If however you're after delicious smelling concoctions made from a short list of natural sounding ingredients by people who care about the effect we're all having on the planet, then go buy some of their stuff now!

I particularly like the Cream Dream moisturiser, the Avocado cleanser (the big one has a pumpy thing which is handy), and their lovely soap.

While I'm at it, Choose The Alternative has great stuff too, especially their compostable scrubbies, and it took me ages to find these tea-lights (which aren't made of liquid paraffin like most candles). And don't forget Eco-Libris who balance out the books you read by planting trees. And everyone in the UK should bank with The Co-operative Bank because they're lovely.

There, advert break over.

Has anyone else got any favourite ethical companies? Do leave any recommendations in the comments.

Writing The Life Poetic - The Blog Tour

This is my friend Sage Cohen.

Today I am delighted to be hosting her as a part of the blog tour for her brand new book - Writing The Life Poetic: An Invitation to Read and Write Poetry.

I first met Sage through her blog, and bought her poetry collection Like the Heart, the World. It is very good indeed (you can read my review on Amazon by clicking on the link).

I admire Sage's skill at getting her work out into the world, typified by her organised approach to this blog tour. But more importantly, this woman can write, and she knows her stuff. If you read or write (or would like to write) poetry, or know anyone who does, find Writing the Life Poetic on Amazon UK or Amazon US. Watch out for a mention of my small stones! Over to Sage...

How does poetry make the world a better place to live?
I think poetry fills the gap left by the so-called objective truth that dominates our media, science and legislation. Many of us want to comprehend and communicate the complexity of human experience on a deeper, more soulful level. Poetry gives us a shared language that is more subtle, more human, and—at its best—more universally “true” than we are capable of achieving with just the facts.

How has integrating the reading and writing of poetry into your life impacted you?
I will risk sounding melodramatic in saying that poetry saved my life. I stumbled into a writing practice at an extremely vulnerable time in my early teenage years. Poetry gave me then, as it does today, a way of giving voice to feelings and ideas that felt too risky and complicated to speak out loud. There was a kind of alchemy in writing through such vulnerabilities...by welcoming them in language, I was able to transform the energies of fear, pain and loneliness into a kind of friendly camaraderie with myself. In a way, I wrote myself into a trust that I belonged in this world.

Do people need an advanced degree in creative writing in order to write poetry?
Absolutely not! Sure, poetry has its place in the classroom; but no one needs an advanced degree in creative writing to reap its rewards. What most people need is simply a proper initiation. I wrote Writing the Life Poetic to offer such an initiation. My goal was that everyone who reads it come away with a sense of how to tune into the world around them through a poetic lens. Once this way of perceiving is awakened, anything is possible!

Why did you write Writing the Life Poetic?
While working with writers for the past fifteen years, I have observed that even the most creative people fear that they don’t have what it takes to write and read poetry. I wrote Writing the Life Poetic to put poetry back into the hands of the people––not because they are aspiring to become the poet laureate of the United States––but because poetry is one of the great pleasures in life.

Who is Writing the Life Poetic written for?
Practicing poets, aspiring poets, and teachers of writing in a variety of settings can use Writing the Life Poetic to write, read, and enjoy poems; it works equally well as a self-study companion or as a classroom guide. Both practical and inspirational, it will leave readers with a greater appreciation for the poetry they read and a greater sense of possibility for the poetry they write.

What sets Writing the Life Poetic apart from other poetry how-to books?
The craft of poetry has been well documented in a variety of books that offer a valuable service to serious writers striving to become competent poets. Now it’s time for a poetry book that does more than lecture from the front of the classroom. Writing the Life Poetic was written to be a contagiously fun adventure in writing. Through an entertaining mix of insights, exercises, expert guidance and encouragement, I hope to get readers excited about the possibilities of poetry––and engaged in a creative practice. Leonard Cohen says: “Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.” My goal is that Writing the Life Poetic be the flame fueling the life well lived.

Is it true that your book and your baby were conceived and birthed at the same time? What did you learn from this process?
Yes, I often refer to my son Theo and Writing the Life Poetic as my multi-media twins! I found out I was pregnant with Theo about two months into the writing of the book and I was making final edits to the book in layout two weeks after he was born. It was fascinating to have two of the most potent creative processes I’ve ever experienced happening in tandem. What I learned is a great respect for the birthing journey; it is one that has completely rewritten me along the way.

I am writing a monthly column this year for The Writer Mama zine titled “The Articulate Conception” which chronicles my journey of becoming an author and a mom. Through the course of ten essays, I am exploring this double-whammy birth trajectory--from the twinkle in my eye to the bags under my eyes. The first column is available here.

What makes a poem a poem?
This is one of my favorite questions! I’ve answered it in my book, but it’s a question that I’m answering anew every day. And that’s what I love about poetry. It’s a realm where invention is not limited entirely by definition; there is room enough for the endless possibilities of the human. Every time we try to draw a line around what a poem is, something spills over into the next frame, shifting the point of view and demanding new names: olive, token, flax, daffodil. A poem is all of these, or none of them, depending on the quality of light and how the blade in the next room stirs the night.

What do you think people’s greatest misperceptions are about poetry?
I think the three greatest stereotypes about the writing of poetry are:

1. That one has to be a starving artist or deeply miserable to write great poetry.
2. That reading and writing poetry are available only to an elite inner circle that shares secret, insider knowledge about the making of poems.
3. That poetry does not fund prosperity.

I hope very much that Writing the Life Poetic helps offer alternatives to some of these attitudes and perceptions.

I’d love to conclude with a poem of yours. Would you be willing to share one?
Of course! Happy to!

*

Leaving Buckhorn Springs
By Sage Cohen

The farmland was an orchestra,
its ochres holding a baritone below
the soft bells of farmhouses,
altos of shadowed hills,
violins grieving the late
afternoon light. When I saw
the horses, glazed over with rain,
the battered old motorcycle parked
beside them, I pulled my car over
and silenced it on the gravel.
The rain and I were diamonds
displacing appetite with mystery.
As the horses turned toward me,
the centuries poured through
their powerful necks and my body
was the drum receiving the pulse
of history. The skin between me
and the world became the rhythm
of the rain keeping time with the sky
and into the music walked
the smallest of the horses. We stood
for many measures considering
each other, his eyes the quarter notes
of my heart’s staccato. This symphony
of privacy and silence: this wildness
that the fence between us could not divide.

*

(appreciative poem mmm)
Thanks Sage. To find out more, visit Writing the Life Poetic (here's the blog).

The Dear Everybody Blog Tour cometh

A couple of months ago I was approached and asked if I'd like to be involved in Michael Kimball's blog tour for his new book, Dear Everybody.

After a quick look at Michael's site and at his book trailer (I must get myself one of those...) I said yes please.

My leg of the tour will be on the 21st of April, and I'll be publishing an email conversation I had with Michael about his writing, his 'Michael Kimball Writes Your Life Story (on a postcard)' project, and more.

Until then you can catch Michael at the following blogs. I'd also unreservedly recommend that you buy his book - it is sweet, sad and completely authentic. Just how I like 'em.

Mon 13th *Me & My Big Mouth*

Weds 15th *Dogmatika*

Fri 17th *The View From Here*

Sat 18th *3AM*

Sun 19th *Lizzy’s Literary Life*

Mon 20th *Digital Fiction Show*

Tue 21st *Planting Words*

23rd Thu *Elizabeth Baines*

25th Sat *Writing Neuroses*

26th Sun *Just William's Luck*

Meet Rosie - isn't she beautiful?

OK, that's not really her - but she is related.

Rosie will be bright red. She's a Fiat 500, and she is going to be ALL MINE, just as soon as she's been put together. Her everso-shiny alloy wheels might be being fitted right now.

After my car died a fortnight ago I started very sensibly by deciding on how much of my savings I'd like to use up on a new (second hand) car. I've been dreaming of Fiat 500s since I first saw one last year, but they were pretty expensive.

Then I looked them up, and saw that they did do a cheaper version. I did a test drive, and asked the salesman questions that made my partner wince at how 'girly' I was.

Then I came home and slobbered over the brochure. I read and re-read the list of extras on the more expensive one. Sun roof! Air conditioning! Chrome bits! I didn't think I was the kind of person who'd get excited about chrome bits, but it turns out that I am.

I bought the expensive one.

I trust that the Universe will help me to pay off the difference between my original budget and the price I paid for Rosie. She's worth it - she's gorgeous. Now I've just got to wait until June...

Back from my little retreat

Hello, I'm back.

I stayed at St Ethelwold's House in Abingdon (near Oxford) - an Open Spiritual Centre. Here's their Sanctuary room - doesn't it make you feel calmer just looking at it?

The Trust’s purpose is to support people on their personal journeys by providing opportunities for spiritual refreshment, reflection and growth.

My room was clean and simple, and the garden (which backs onto the Thames) was stunning. Breakfast was delicious. The sun shone on me. I read and walked and got some clarity on something that I'll tell you about next month (just in case it doesn't work). Thank you, St Ethelwold's.

They have a tiny little room/flat at the bottom of the garden which would be perfect for writing retreats - or whatever kind of retreat you fancy. If you live too far away, why not look for your own perfect retreat? Here's a Buddhist list of places, here's a Christian list, and here's another one - there, no excuses for you not to book yourself a night or three away from it all.

The best thing about retreats is coming home a little lighter, a little clearer. Today I ate the first rhubarb from the garden, stewed with a little bit of sugar, and I made leek and potato soup. I planted courgette seeds and then read with a cat on my lap.

It's good to be back.

Shhhhhhhh..... secret!

Come closer - I need to whisper this into your ear....

My next book is available in paperback on Amazon a bit early - it shouldn't officially be out until the 1st of August.

Don't tell anyone you've bought it or the Publication Date Police will come and take you away. They can be nasty.

I know I'm meant to be on holiday now. This is DEFINITELY my last post until the weekend.

Byeee!

My first book signing - me, Trinny and Susannah

My first ever signing. I sat at my lovely big signing-desk, with my books in front of me. I did a little hand-scrunching exercise and took up my pen. And then.... nothing. The first twenty minutes passed very slowly indeed.

Then my friend Hazel arrived. Then my friend Kelly bought three copies. Then Jenny brought me a gorgeous fat bunch of white and pink tulips. Then Liz brought me a present. Six year old Allie and six year old Erin were author's assistants (which involved sitting in the chair next to me and looking pretty). Etc. Etc.

In amongst friends and family who came to be proud and to buy my books, I sold FOUR books to members of the public! OK, one was a friend of a friend, and yes, one lady told me about her great aunt's launch first (when no-one turned up) and I think she might just have taken pity on me. But four!

I sold about 25 altogether, and I got to meet some people I hadn't met before 'from the internet' (hello Geoff! hello Pierre!), and I had a wonderful meal afterwards. And best of all (don't tell anyone) when Trinny and Susannah did their signing in the Oracle, they sold 13 copies. Hurray for Waterstones in Reading. Hurray for signings.

PS The Letters has gone down to a fiver on Amazon. I think this is a good thing. I know you already have your own copy and one for your best friend and sister, but this means you can also buy one for your brother-in-law now.

PPS I really am off on holiday now, and I'm leaving my lovely blue laptop behind : ( I'll cope somehow. Have a lovely week and enjoy the sunshine.

PPPS while I'm gone you should this poem by Neruda on The Portmanteau, my new favourite poetry blog. Neruda wanted poems 'stained / by hands and everydayness.' Hear hear.

Sad author checks Amazon ranking daily....

Yes, that's me.

My ranking this very minute is 16,097. This is a record. If someone else bought a book today, I'd beat my record - but I'm off out now so I won't see it.

If you do happen to buy The Letters from Amazon today, check my ranking and let me know ; ) It's down in the product details.

If any other authors are afflicted with this shameful disease, any tips welcome.

PS I found a nice pink dress for my signing. The shop assistant who helped me choose was very excited. She said she never reads anything except Janet Evanovich, but she was still impressed to meet an author. Tee hee. Me, an author.

Moodling. Moodle, moodle, moodle.

Isn't it the best word ever?

I've been thinking about Brenda Ueland's book, If You Want To Write, since writing this post about pottering. When I Googled moodling, I found this post about it. I wrote it in October and had completely forgotten about.

She recommends moodling for anyone who wants to write. Because "you see, imagination needs moodling - long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering." Even the sentence invites you to linger, to roll the words around on your tongue.

I was going to try and write something clever about how we can get better at moodling, but it turns out I'm not feeling very clever today. I'll let Anna Akhmatova share her thoughts on moodling instead. Thank you Anna.

I Taught Myself to Live Simply

I taught myself to live simply and wisely,
to look at the sky and pray to God,
and to wander long before evening
to tire my superfluous worries.
When the burdocks rustle in the ravine
and the yellow-red rowanberry cluster droops
I compose happy verses
about life's decay, decay and beauty.
I come back. The fluffy cat
licks my palm, purrs so sweetly
and the fire flares bright
on the saw-mill turret by the lake.
Only the cry of a stork landing on the roof
occasionally breaks the silence.
If you knock on my doorI may not even hear.

*

I have my first ever book signing (search for Fiona Robyn) on Saturday, and I'm off this afternoon to see if I can find the kind of clothes that authors would wear. I'm not sure what they are, but it feels important. Happy weekends.

PS the book signing link was dodgy but it's fixed now. Thanks for spotting it Pierre!