The bus stops here - last leg of The Letters blog tour

Well - it's the last stop for my little orange bus : (

Today I visit Lizzy for some lemon polenta cake - doesn't it look yummy? I could definitely have a slice of that for breakfast.

What a fantastic time I've had. I've spoken to Aliya about vegetables, Lane about smiling cats and Caroline about Mr. Men. I've had marvellous reviews at Patteran Pages, More about the song and Juxtabook. And a WHOLE LOT MORE besides.

So I've had a ball - but have I sold any more books? I've definitely been selling a book here and there, but who knows what turns an interested-person into a book-buyer? If you did buy my book as a direct result of the tour, I'd be everso interested to hear.

On the subject of who buys my books, I'm already planning what I want to do with my next book, The Blue Handbag, which comes out on Aug 1st (you can pre-order it on Amazon now). It will involve you...

I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to all my blog tour hosts - and another HUGE thank you to everyone who travelled with me on the little orange bus (a special thanks to Jem who kept my company all the way). Here's to the next adventure!

The difference between loving and hating gardening (or how to potter)

Last weekend the sunshine was warm and bright, and I got out into the garden for the first time this year.

I am a rather sloppy, erratic gardener. I'll spend all weekend doing bits and bobs, then abandon it completely for a while. Sometimes I love it, and sometimes I hate it.

Last weekend I repaired the net over the veg patch, planted some beetroot outside, planted all sorts of veg seeds inside, got some new potatoes into the ground, did some weeding, planted lots of flowers in pots, and went on several trips to the garden centre. I really enjoyed the things I did, and it led me to wonder why.

Hmm. I've been mulling this over, and the best way I can think of putting it is how 'spacious' I feel when I approach the garden. If I feel spacious, I approach one task at a time and I don't feel phased by the 99 tasks yet to do. I notice the rich smell of the earth and the rosy pinks of the rhubarb shoots. Trying to fish the dead leaves from the icy water in the watering can becomes a game rather than an annoyance.

If I feel hurried, I want to get what I'm doing done as soon as possible so I can get on with all the other jobs nagging for my attention - both in the garden and in my office. I feel impatient with myself for not getting things 'right', and for the objects around for me for being so awkward and time-wasting. I feel like a pretty rubbish gardener with too much garden and too little time.

The first way of working is pottering, and the second is battling. Although it feels like I'm working more slowly when I'm pottering, everything seems to get done.

The same is true for my writing. To get my writing done, I need to clear the decks as far as possible, and calm myself as much as I can. I need to focus on the little bit I'm writing now, rather than thinking about the whole book at once (argh!). I need to be kind and encouraging to myself, whilst not letting myself off the hook. I need to relish the words.

How can we get better at pottering? I'd be interested in your thoughts. Maybe starting to catch ourselves when we're speeding up can be helpful. Meditation is good for me. Here's to a week of pottering.

A little favour if you've read The Letters (and didn't think it was rubbish)

If you've read The Letters and didn't think it was rubbish, I'd very much appreciate it if you could pop over to Amazon UK (or Amazon US if you'd rather) and put a little review up. It doesn't have to be a proper review, a few words would be lovely.

If you did think it was rubbish you are also very welcome to go to Amazon and write a review, but I don't require you to make a special effort.

There's no excuse for that photo of a kitten. I hope you forgive me. Unless you like it, in which case don't worry there will probably be more pictures of kittens at some point.

Also, my friend Heather is doing a charity walk for Breakthrough, the breast cancer charity. If you'd like to give her some money here's the page.

There. I'm off to eat a chocolate.

POSTSCRIPT: 4 reviews up already - thank you lovely people.

Juice, new cars, and annoying cats

I was surprised to get an email this week telling me I was 30 days into my meditation challenge - where has the time gone?

I have sat on my zafu for twenty minutes every morning, but Fatty has been a bit of a problem of late. I sit in lotus position and stare at the wall, and he keeps sitting between me and the wall and looking up at me, occasionally batting me gently with a paw to encourage me to shift my focus. What ARE you doing? he seems to be wondering. Stroke me instead - it's not as if you've got anything better to do....

The paw-patting is endearing, and he knows it. I usually take a short break from paying attention to my breath to pay attention to my cat.

Another little quote via Daily Dharma today.

You Can Live Without It

The phenomenal world is much more fascinating and juicy when we stop grasping…wanting…craving. This is because the mind is present, the sense wide open, and the conceptual mind relaxed. We make tremendous space in our mind when we let go of this “can’t live without” desperation. And, when we discover the richness and contentment within our own mind, we find an answer to the lifelong question, “Where do I find satisfaction and contentment?”

––Dzigar Kongtrul, from Light Comes Through (Shambhala Publications)

I love that word, juicy. In other news, The Letters has been reviewed by Lori Tiron-Pandit here, and I've just updated my blog tour page.

Hope you all have fascinating, juicy weekends.

The cover art controversy rages on...

Well, rages on might be a bit strong. Let's say 'continues'.

At a few of the stops on my blog tour, my hosts have questioned the appropriateness of the cover of The Letters. They (and they are usually either men or women who tend to read novels from the 'literary' end of the scale) said that they wouldn't have picked the book up in a bookshop.

In response to these misgivings, my editor Emma has written a very good piece about Snowbooks policy on cover design here. She really knows her stuff.

What do you think? Do covers matter to you? Do you think this is a feminist issue? What do you think it says about the mass market of readers? Do comment here or over at the Snowblog.

My thoughts, for what it's worth, are that I'd rather my book was picked up and read by as many people as possible - and these covers have made that possible. I wasn't so sure about this earlier on, and my ego received some much-needed puncturing as a part of the process.

Although I must say I still hanker for a woman with some trees or plants behind her for the next book, The Blue Handbag - Leonard would like a bit of greenery on there somewhere. Don't tell Emma ; )

Thank you Mr. Jones

Thank you Dick of Patteran Pages for a rather marvellous review of The Letters. What a lucky author I am.

The picture of the beach huts will make sense if you've read the book. Aren't they beautiful colours? I'd like to sit there awhile with a cup of mint tea.

On a sadder note, my car died yesterday. I put it into gear at a roundabout, and it decided it was tired and refused to go any further. The new gear box will cost £1600 - very much more than my poor old car is worth. I will be giving it a good send-off later today.

If I was rich I would like to have a spanking new bright red Fiat 500, but a used gunmetal grey Nissan Micra will do nicely - we're off to have a look at it later today.

In further exciting news, I am going to plant some celeriac seeds later today.

How We Were Lost by Megan Taylor

I probably wouldn't have found or read this novel if I hadn't met and liked Megan in blogworld. I'm so glad I did.

How We Were Lost follows 14 year old Janie during one long, hot, sticky summer. Two young girls have gone missing from her local beach, and Janie becomes obsessed with finding them. She also starts to uncover the secrets in her own troubled family...

What I liked most about the book was the language. There's sticky ice-cream, armpit smells, scabbed elbows... we're really THERE. Here are a couple of little extracts so you can get a taste of Megan's writing:

The room flickers and I jump up from the bed to see a bird floating outside the window, calling and calling as he blocks out half the sun. For a moment he looks black and huge and then he's gone and the brilliant yellow morning rushes back.

The buzzing-crackling in my head is back, a soft popping and a gentle smouldering. When I touch my forehead, my fingers burn and my eyes are watering. I don't touch my eyes, though, not even to wipe the slow, warm tears away. I don't want to think about eyeballs in sockets. Bones beneath skin. I don't want to think about how loose, how prevarious, it all is; as though we're held together with nothing more than lolly sticks and bits of string. How easily, I think, it comes apart.

Good, eh? You can buy the book on Amazon UK here. Thanks Megan - can't wait to read your next one!

This week on the little red bus...

I'll be stopping off at these places. If you want to catch up, go here.

23rd: Chatting with my friend Sage at Writing The Life Poetic.

24th: Visiting with Dick at the marvellous Patteran Pages.

25th: Stopping off at Stuck In A Book to speak with Simon.

25th: Travelling faster than the speed of sound, I shall also be visiting my friend Jacqui at Essential Artist today.

26th: Popping over to Israel to drink virtual tea with Tania at TaniaWrites.

27th: I'll be talking to Allie (and maybe her lovely looking dog) over at Incidents and Accidents.

27th: I'll also be meeting with Susan Richardson - look at her snazzy new site!

28th: Speaking with Scott at Me And My Big Mouth.

The Blue Handbag - meet Leonard!

Well - sales of The Letters seem to be going well, and before I even have a chance to catch my breath I have another book out!

I can't wait to introduce you to Leonard - a gardener who becomes a reluctant detective after discovering some mysterious facts about about his wife after her death. I am so fond of him. And his twin grandsons. And his dog Pickles. Find out more about the book here.

It's just the hardback - you'll have to wait until August for the paperback (although you can pre-order on Amazon here) - but Snowbooks do produce very gorgeous hardbacks so I thought I'd let you know just in case you fancy treating yourself or someone else.

You can get it on Amazon UK for £16.99 here, or direct from Snowbooks here.

PS I know the cover is ultra-girly but if you're a man you could always cover it up with a brown paper bag if you want to read it in public. Unless you're already secure in your masculinity, of course, in which case there'll be no problem...

A mental health flotation device

Thanks to the very lovely lassie and timmy for this:

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.

--- James Thurber

She says, 'Love that last line. It is, for me, a mental health flotation device.'

Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time. I know this, but I don't act as if I know it. I must tattoo it onto the palm of my hand.

What a relief. We can let go of all that.

The Zen of Sunflower Seeds

Did I say I wasn't going to mention Zen for a while?

I lied. A poem of mine is up at Catapult To Mars - go see.

Gorgeous weather here today. I've been planting bedding plants all morning - I've gone for hot pink Petunia this year rather than my usual red. The Rooster potatoes are chitting and the new earlies are ready to go into the ground.

Planting Seeds is just as fun as Planting Words. Hope you're having a lovely day.

How to meditate/how to write

I know, more Zen stuff. But this is about writing, really. Or anything else that is important to you.

If meditation is a priority, then it's helpful to take that word literally and put meditation first. An example would be my rule of not turning on the computer before I've meditated. Simple, but effective.

Probably the most trenchant advice I've ever heard, was in eight words by Suzuki Roshi: Organize your life so you can sit well."

- David Schneider

It took me ten years to organise my life so I get the time and space to write, as well as enough money from my 'day job' to pay my rent.

Does ten years sound too long to wait? You'll either be waiting ten years to give your priority space, or ten years to have it in the same place it was before. Start today. And don't forget to enjoy the scenery along the way.

Eating and reading the newspaper

This morning's Daily Dharma made me chuckle...

Seung Sahn would say, "When you eat, just eat. When you read the newspaper, just read the newspaper. Don't do anything other than what you are doing."

One day a student saw him reading the newspaper while he was eating. The student asked if this did not contradict his teaching. Seung Sahn said, "When you eat and read the newspaper, just eat and read the newspaper."

–From Essential Zen, edited by Kazuaki Tanahashi and Tensho David Schneider

PS Gorgeous sunshine again too. Wish I was planting potatoes instead of words.

PPS The Letters has been reviewed by Scott Pack over at Me and My Big Mouth - I've been Trolloped again ; )

Follow the little orange bus....

Here's my schedule for next week - lots of petrol!

16th: Every Day I Lie A Little. It's probably true, but it's also where I'll be on today.

17th: Rachel will be posting her review of the book at More about the song.

18th: There might be scandal and hysteria at Faye's Scandal and Hysteria - we shall see....

19th: The group blog Strictly Writing will be asking me some quick-fire questions.

20th: Shooting the breeze with author Megan Taylor at her blog (I've just started reading her book and am MUCH enjoying it - will do a little review when I'm finished).

22nd: I get to follow the yellow brick road with Katherine.

23rd: Chatting with my friend Sage at Writing The Life Poetic.

Hope to see you there!

Bargain Moldy Peaches and More Grinning

I bought the Juno soundtrack for £3 today in a supermarket. I haven't seen the film but seeing Belle and Sebastian on the list of artists was enough to persuade me. That, and it was the same price of the expensive quiche I had for dinner.

It's full of simple, sweet teenage music - a bit like biting into a non-moldy peach. And I'm a new fan of Moldy Peaches - you can watch one of their odd and joyous videos here.

It reminded me a bit of the glorious Praise You video, which always makes me grin.

We can always do with more grinning. Praise Bargain Moldy Peaches. Have a lovely weekend.

Having a tantrum, and another way of looking at discipline

I'm near the beginning of a 90 day challenge to meditate for twenty minutes every day.

As you know, my brother got married at the weekend. I took my zafu with me to the hotel, and sat on Saturday morning, but on Sunday morning I went straight downstairs for my free fat-laden fried breakfast and vowed to do it when I got home.

I got home tired and hungry, and proceeded to have a tantrum about not wanting to do my meditation. I wanted to watch the telly instead. I was too tired. I wanted to enjoy my Sunday evening. My back hurt. I needed to cook something to eat.

I waited for myself to finish, and managed to drag myself to my cushion anyway. After sitting for twenty minutes, I felt much better. I had a different evening - calmer, less mushy-headed. A very little bit smug.

It reminded me again of this wonderful quote by Henepola Gunaratana from his very good book 'Mindfulness in Plain English'. (I can NEVER get his name right when I'm trying to find the quote online again...)

"Discipline" is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody standing over you with a stick, telling you that you're wrong. But self-discipline is different. It's the skill of seeing through the hollow shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret. They have no power over you. It's all a show, a deception. Your urges scream and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten; but they really carry no stick at all. You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this lesson, though. The words on this page won't do it. But look within and watch the stuff coming up - restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain - just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away. As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.

I wish you patience.

Happy Wedding

Look at this handsome couple - my brother the ex-zombie, and his beautiful bride, otherwise known as my brand new sister-in-law.

A few of the best bits in no particular order: the blue-iced homemade cup-cakes, getting together as a family to set up the hall and clear up again afterwards, the fragrant Thai curry feast, my 87-year-old Nana tapping her fingers to the very loud and marvellously hairy Gentleman's Pistols, my bro's speech which didn't leave a dry eye in the place, my uncle's dancing.

Here's to a long and happy marriage, with maybe a baby or two for aunty Fiona in due course. Cheers!

PS I'm rather pleased with this review of The Letters by Eve's Alexandria - I hope you'll forgive a newly published author a little smidgeon of smugness ; )

Follow the little red bus....

This is where I've been so far:

1st: Aliyah Whitely at Veggie Box tells me that: 'The Letters' contains the most amazing amount of fruit and veg I've come across in a novel. In order of appearance, there's cucumbers, onions, garlic, mango, apples, blackcurrants, potatoes, lemons, peaches, strawberries, runner beans, raspberries, cabbage, peas, carrots and bananas.' Phew, who'd have thought it?

3rd: I posted Three Beautiful Things from the book on Clare Grant's well-loved site.

4th: I ate jaffa cakes and talked about cats with Lane at Lane's Write.

5th: Liza Lee was up half the night finishing The Letters, but I think she's forgiven me. We talked about my favourite bird and my daily writing routine at It's just me, and helped her to celebrate her birthday!

5th: I also zipped over to Wordgirl's Work in Progress to talk about Richard and Judy and about being a seat-of-my-pantser.

6th: Caroline Smailes asked me for my top five tips for getting published, and then asked me some questions involving chocolate, Mr. Men and tortoises.

8th: Leah and her fellow students asked me questions about plotting and my writing rituals at I could be doing something else right now.

9th: Juliet at Crafty Green Poet asked me about poetry and small stones, amongst other things.

This is where I'll be going next....

Relax. Nothing is under control.

A couple of nights ago I was listening to Radio 1 on the drive home. A song came on with these lyrics.

Relax. Nothing is under control.

I've just spent the past 20 minutes trying to find it. This definitely isn't it - my song was dancey, not thrashy. I wanted to find the lyrics, and see if they contained any more wisdom.

I looked some more on the Radio 1 website, and then tried hundreds of different combinations on Google. And then I relaxed.

Nothing is under control, really. Not in the end. It's only the illusion that we are in control that keeps us stressed. That doesn't mean we don't have a responsibility to make the right choices, and live as well as we can. But we can't stop the leaves falling from the trees.

I'm going to let go of trying to find the song, and enjoy the sweet scent of jasmine, from a beautiful plant my friend sent me on my publication day. I might go and watch the goldfinches squabbling over their niger seed.

I'm off to my brother's wedding this weekend. I hope you all have marvellous weekends. Don't forget to relax.

Update: just before leaving for the weekend I heard from John who, as he says in the comments, also heard the song and found my post when he Googled the title. He was cleverer than me and found the song itself on YouTube - I think you should do as I am now and dance around your kitchen. Go on, try it.

See - I was right to relax ; ) Thanks John!

PPS or if a bit of zombie punk is more your thing, here's my brother's band with Everything Is Not Under Control - listen out for his guitar solo - I'm a proud sister...

PPPS you have to watch my bro in the Blood Fever vid too, but not if you're of a nervous disposition - there's blood and swearing. My bro is the one in the red bandana.

PPPPS this is getting ridiculous, but as martini says this is a good remix of the Under Control song...

Randy? Robyn? Roche? (Bueller? Bueller?)

So - I am now a published author. As proof, here is a picture of me, as my editor Emma put it, grinning like a... happy author.

I survived yesterday. The phone did ring once, and I got a few lovely texts and lots of lovely emails, but Richard and Judy must have been busy - I'm sure I'll hear from them later today.

After I'd finished grinning like an idiot, I noticed my shelf-companions. My book is nestling up next to Wetlands - Charlotte Roche's infamous book. To quote from Amazon, Wetlands opens in a hospital room after an intimate shaving accident. It goes on to talk about Helen's hemorrhoids, anal intercourse, and only gains momentum from there... As you can see in my little picture, the cover features an avocado, and you can imagine...

As you might expect, the book has done pretty well.

How do I feel about that? Will people searching for Wetlands have their attention snagged by my rather modest lady in her long red dress? Or will they be intent on getting straight to the hemorrhoids?

At least my single 'c' word is paling in comparison. I'm sure my main character Violet is blushing.

PS If you haven't seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off yet, you must. That's an order.

PPS I'm guest at Three Beautiful Things today - do come and say hello.

PPPS The novelist on my left hand side wasn't really Randy - I forgot to look, my eyes being drawn by Wetland. If you go into a book shop today, have a look and let me know who it really is!

Bring on the trumpets!!! (or the snowdrops)

Today my first ever properly published book is officially born.

Do I bring on the trumpets? Here's an extract from Anne Lamott's book, Bird by Bird, where she talks about the process of publication.

I remember one year my friend Carpenter and I had books out on the same day. We talked about it all summer. We each pretended to have modest expectations. I had modest expectations for his book; he had modest expectations for mine. The week before, we talked almost every morning about how excited we were and what a long time we had waited, and how it was just like being a little kid waiting for Christmas Eve.

Finally the big day arrived and I woke up happy, embarassed in advance by all the praise and attention that would be forthcoming. I made coffee and called Pammy and a few friends to let them congratulate me. Then I waited for the phone to ring. The phone did not know its part. It sat there silent as death with a head cold. By noon the noise of it not ringing began to wear badly on my nerves. Finally, finally, it rang a four. It picked up the phone and heard Carpenter laughing hysterically, like some serial killer, and then I became hysterical, and eventually we both had to be sedated.

So - my plan today is to go out and walk quietly around a lake, and then into a wood, where I am hoping there will be snowdrops. I will think quietly about how lucky I am to have my book out in the world. I will eat a celebratory piece of lemon cake. I will be grateful.

Not trumpets, but snowdrops.

The Letters blog tour is on the road....

And we're off!

I've already answered questions about vegetables at Neil Ayres and Aliya Whitely's Veggie Box.

My next stop is Clare's Three Beautiful Things on the 3rd. On the 4th Lane will be asking me questions about cats at Lane's Write, and Liza Lee was up half the night finishing The Letters - join us at her blog, It's just me, on the 5th and help her to celebrate her birthday!

The lovely Caroline Smailes wrote one of my cover blurbs, and I'll be at hers on the 6th, giving you my five tips on how-to-keep-going-when-you're-trying-to-get-published, and she will be asking me five very silly questions. On the 8th I'll be answering Leah's questions at I could be doing something else right now.

I'll post about the tour here once a week, but you can check in at my blog tour page any time. I might even be trashing a virtual hotel room or two...